Violence in school is nothing new. Violence in society is nothing new either. In fact, much of our society was built upon or created by violence. Aggression towards other tribes, other religions, other factions in a way defines who we are. Whether these aggressions are warranted or not is not even useful to discuss - the fact that violent actions even take place shows us that we see it as an option; a way of expressing our feelings or needs. Colonial America "needed" it's independence from England, so they fought for it. American 'pioneers' "needed" the land west of the Mississippi, so they fought for it. Nazi Germany "needed" most of Europe, so it fought for it. No matter the philosophies or the rationales; the methods were violent, simply because it is the greatest means of expression mankind currently knows. No message is stronger, more disturbing, or attention-getting than showing violence towards another. That this method of expression is expected to be contained in any part of our society - business, education, government - is naïve. With anger, as with God, anything is possible.

With that in mind, also realize that children are fragile, impressionable beings. Throughout my life I have found that, almost to my horror, children will pick up on anything they see someone else doing. Their biggest fear is to be left alone, to be abandoned, to be different. They will imitate and renounce individuality in order to belong. This is how children learn. In this same process, they also must make mistakes. In order to learn that a stove is sometimes hot when you touch it, some children need to actually touch a hot stove. Some children need to call their own mother a "bitch" before learning that it's not proper. Children have a problem teaching each other, because neither the speaker nor the listener will actually know when a mistake is made. In this way, children can be awful to each other. In fact, some say that children are the worst taunters and teasers of each other when they are young. To say that the social dynamics of K-12 are complicated would be a gross understatement. Hurt feelings go with the territory. The boundaries of society are taught through older mentors; mainly teachers and parents. Teaching a child how to deal with these feelings is so very important; self-confidence and pride are things that are sometimes forgotten, so to replace it a child will make up their own methods of protection.

When Eric Harris' family relocated to Littleton, Colorado, Eric had trouble finding his niche. He just didn't seem to fit in. He was often ridiculed, and witnesses say there were times when "people would throw rocks at him...call him fag. He had a really hard school life. They never accepted Eric for being what they saw to be different." He vowed revenge on the jocks. Just before the shooting, Harris applied to join the Marines. He was turned down when his parents revealed that he was on an anti-depressant drug, often given to people with obsessive compulsive disorders. One girl states that he had a friend ask her to the prom for him. When asked if she was interested, she said "No, not really."

By the time a child enters high school, or even junior high, he or she has already been labelled by classmates. These labels are commonly known: jocks, cheerleaders, nerds, sluts, druggies, geeks, you name it. Almost none of them are complimentary. Each one has it's own hierarchy, and each one has it's own responsibilities to keeping it's hierachical placement. Though each school is different, similar systems will almost always appear, as if they were instinctual. One of the labels I remember clearly from my days in high school (beyond "band geek") was "darksider". I was friends with a few kids who were labeled as "darksiders", mostly from early days in elementary school, though the label itself didn't start until high school. By that time, they were living the stereotype; wearing mostly black clothing, brought a very mysterious demeanor about them, and weren't seen too much. One of them actually committed suicide when I was a sophomore. They weren't threatening, but I found a certain sadness about them. They didn't fit in. There was something else for them to be doing, and it wasn't to be found in a high school. These were not unintelligent people - one of them was the most brilliant person I had yet met. He was a mathematical genius - he spent most of his time at the local university taking college-level math classes. High school, to them, was simply means to an end. They wanted out so badly, and to put a finer point on it, it wasn't like they were accepted either. The subtle oppression towards these folks was astounding - many backs were turned if their fingers weren't pointed. I'm not even sure the teachers knew what was to become of them; they seemed to have a "hands-off" approach and let them do their thing, whatever that was (and a dangerous choice for teachers as well - who else would admittedly let a hyperintelligent loner do what they wanted to do?). Most simply disappeared into the ether of college when the time came. Some left for the netherworld. But most certainly, they did not stay with the mainstream. They knew they didn't belong, and it certainly didn't seem like anybody else wanted them either.

Success is a driving force within every human soul. Almost from day one, we are taught that success is happiness. It's in every television commercial, in every school assembly, in every social setting. To 'win' is sometimes what drives children from their parents. When this subliminal drive is applied to those who have already been labeled as losers, then what are they expected to do? Be the best at nothing? Be a success at being a loser? In the case at Columbine High, this seems to have been the case.

Chip Dunleavy, 17, of Columbine High School and a hockey player was quoted as saying "They hate us because we're like the social elite of the school". That rivalry had been smoldering for months. Some students say even the teachers picked on the Trench Coats, blaming them for things they hadn't done and letting jocks get away with anything because they were the crown princes. One athlete in particular liked to taunt them. 'Dirtbag' he'd say or maybe 'Nice dress'. Others called them 'faggots', inbreeds, harassing them to the point of throwing rocks and bottles at them from moving cars.

Being a loser gives you freedom. You can do, and are expected to do, anything and everything that a normal person wouldn't do. You can join the silliest groups of people, enjoy the most dangerous of activities, have the most bizarre hobbies; and you can get away with it because society wouldn't imagine it otherwise. It wouldn't matter if you wanted to do "good"; you'd always end up doing "bad" because that's what's expected of you. For the most part, you'd be the type of person who thinks outside the curve - artistic, creative, one who ends up seeing problems from different angles and can solve the most difficult of questions. There's no school-supported club for people like this. These kids aren't sure what exactly to do. They know they're above the curve, but nobody will acknowledge or support their gift, so they make their own means. After a certain point, they didn’t want to waste their own energy trying to be accepted. They held the hand that was dealt to them, and they played it the very best they could. They supported all the things a child shouldn't - drugs, anti-social behavior, interest in the occult and hate groups. Though these things can bring bad things, for the most part these kids know that. They simply did it to piss everybody else off and bring attention to themselves, and deservedly so, as they had been denied it their entire social childhood. That's what the "Trenchcoat Mafia" was. In fact, the name "Trenchcoat Mafia" itself was tagged on them by classmates, not a name they chose themselves in order to be threatening. These were smart kids who hadn't found their place in life yet, a bit confused and disgusted by the society they saw; emphasis on athletics over art, most adults' working day spent inside a 6-foot square cubicle, school contests based on good looks, popularity, and shallow feelings only to be echoed in the politicians we see today. Instead of following the commonly-beaten path, they created their own anti-society, or more aptly described anti society. And this, as is anything in our society that is different or challenging, is approached with fear. The kids knew it, and they bet on it.

Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris had lost their patience and were angry. Very angry. They were trapped by their classmates, parents and teachers into a pigeonhole of excpected failure. In reality, they were intelligent kids who were expected if not forced to make their own world where they actually meant something. They had no way to speak out; nobody would listen. Nobody honestly cared unless they did something big. Very big. When the expectation is to fail, the most dramatic statement you can make is to succeed. They created a plan that would say, loud and clear, what they saw in our society, and they were determined to succeed. With their anger (and perhaps with the help of a bit of military influence of their parents), these kids did to themselves what the military does to it's soldiers in a time of war; turn off the humanist side of yourself and kill the enemy. It's a very simple and commonplace exercise that's existed since the dawn of man. In order to survive, you must be able to kill. In a society today where we don't have to personally kill for our own nourishment anymore, it's a bit different; we have to purposefully learn how to remove the humanitarian emotions. Dylan and Eric were fully aware of their challenge; in fact, they asked for help from many places. Their web site and their video are the only examples we as the public know, but they're pretty glaring warnings and deeply guised pleas for help, attention, and guidance. Again, nobody cared. They eventually wanted to make victims of those who victimised and ignored them. Tolerance and acceptance was the message, while death was the method.

The gunmen worked their way around to Cassie, who, like the rest of her classmates, was hunched under a table, visibly praying. One of the gunmen asked her, "Do you believe in God?" "It was really cruel the way he said it," says Joshua Lapp, a 16-year-old sophomore who was hiding some 25 feet away. "It was almost like Satan was trying to talk through him." Cassie paused before answering. Then, while presumably staring down a gun barrel, she replied, "Yes." Unsatisfied with her answer, the gunman asked, "Why?" Before Cassie could respond, he shot and killed her.

The message that Dylan and Eric wanted the world to hear was spelled out. Their suicide note was very plain:

"By now, it's over. If you are reading this, my mission is complete," the note said. It warns against blaming the massacre on the music the shooters listened to or the clothes they wore, placing the responsibility with teachers and parents. "Your children who have ridiculed me, who have chosen not to accept me, who have treated me like I am not worth their time are dead. THEY ARE FUCKING DEAD," the note said. "I may have taken their lives and my own - but it was your doing. Teachers, parents, LET THIS MASSACRE BE ON YOUR SHOULDERS UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE."

The answer was there, as glaring and obvious as it could possibly be. And what is it that the media chose to focus on as the culprits? The music they listen to, the clothes they wore, availability of guns, the videogames they played, the sketches in their notebooks. President Clinton actually created a task force that would investigate the entertainment industry so better assess the impact of violent movies, videogames, and music on children. The easy answers - the knee-jerk reactions - were the ones that the media and the public latched on to. The real answers describe problems that cannot be solved with any ease; it describes the way our community is built, the way we function as a capitalistic society. In order to create the society we have today, we have also created monsters out of the group of people who don't agree with what they see. These kids were the inevitable rebels that will always exist. In order to solve the issues that Dylan and Eric brought to light, we would have to undo 500 years of societal evolution. It takes more power than any of us could ever achieve. We have to live with this. It will happen, and it will continue to happen. It's nobody's fault and it's everybody's fault.

Dylan and Eric did something powerful. We should be surprised and proud that these "losers" actually made a statement greater than most people can ever do inside of one hour. What they did took great strength, courage, and evil. Dylan and Eric were not insane - they lost their sanity. They exposed a very great darkness in our society. They acted out on the fantasies of millions of kids who feel like they do. They spelled it out for everyone to see. They wrote it on the wall. It's too bad that nobody really noticed.